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Today, I accidentally had my first threesome. A pair of mating bugs flew into my mouth while I was riding my bike home from class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6014) - you totally deserved it (548)
On 03/19/2010 at 10:33am - misc - by menageettoi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lost my wallet with 300 dollars in it as I was going to run some errands throughout the day. Later on, it managed to find its way back to my mailbox, emptied to the last penny with a note saying, "Don't worry I rewarded myself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you totally deserved it (900)
On 03/19/2010 at 8:05am - money - by laz - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as I was shaving in the shower in preparation for date night with my husband, he thought it would be funny to sneak up and scare me. I had plenty of ideas for how to spend our first date night in six months, but swabbing a bleeding armpit wasn't one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5332) - you totally deserved it (365)
On 03/19/2010 at 7:54am - health - by Inthepits (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was getting ready and pouring boiling water into a thermos when I saw my neighbor walking her dog. She waved at me and I naturally waved back. I forgot that I had a thermos in my hand, and I waved it all over myself causing burns over my face and most of my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2040) - you totally deserved it (5286)
On 03/19/2010 at 6:14am - misc - by atleastshesawmeandhelped (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I'm six months pregnant, and EVERY single time I sneeze I piss all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10430) - you totally deserved it (1301)
On 03/19/2010 at 4:25am - health - by heathsmither - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after working an 8 hour shift that kept me out until 2am, I slept for five hours, during which time I dreamed about working. When I woke up, I left to work another 9 hour shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you totally deserved it (719)
On 03/19/2010 at 3:17am - work - by Overworked (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I spent 7 hours in the emergency room because of high blood pressure, headaches and having trouble breathing. My doctor also said that I have an irregular heart beat. So after 7 hours my doctor sent me home because according to him, "We have no idea how to help you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8100) - you totally deserved it (344)
On 03/19/2010 at 1:56am - health - by Joey - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. It just makes me more depressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you totally deserved it (1180)
On 03/19/2010 at 1:44am - health - by sucks - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dog came in my room, snuggled up next to me, and starting licking my face. I thought it was quite affectionate. However, everyone failed to tell me that my dog had been outside eating rabbit shit until after she licked my face and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5305) - you totally deserved it (2874)
On 03/18/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by jord (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw my boyfriend with his arm wrapped around another girl's waist at the mall. He saw me, panicked, and pretended to give the girl the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10733) - you totally deserved it (528)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:04pm - love - by amiugly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my father is getting married. They have been planning for 6 months and I found out only after receiving the invitation. To make matters worse, my aunt took an online class to marry them. They will be sitting on their mules during the ceremony, and the colors are camouflage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6843) - you totally deserved it (468)
On 03/18/2010 at 7:57pm - misc - by widala (man) - United States
Today, I popped a pimple before I went to work. On my lunch, I found a new pimple just under the previous one. I'm playing whac-a-mole with my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you totally deserved it (1938)
On 03/18/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by TooOldForThis (man) - United States (California)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13892) - you totally deserved it (1231)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you totally deserved it (5014)
On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19984) - you totally deserved it (2653)
On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by david (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
