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mrjohnz

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mrjohnz

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  • Number of visits : 491
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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mrjohnz's page activity

Visits<b>mastermindpwny</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:37pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 12:49am<b>DERPFACE</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 11:00am<b>lickmyjock</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 6:10am<b>perdix</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 10:48pm

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mrjohnz's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13691) - you deserved it (47716)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (12553)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45662) - you deserved it (14559)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12205) - you deserved it (25294)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (5116)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (18634)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (24404)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (152542) - you deserved it (8408)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (6523)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version



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