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mrjason300

Offline (the 07/16/2014 at 12:26pm) | Search for a member

mrjason300

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mrjason300's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (4065)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (25155)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (3063)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112793) - you deserved it (15246)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106326) - you deserved it (12439)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83791) - you deserved it (221867)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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