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mrjake155

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mrjake155

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  • Number of visits : 100
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mrjake155's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37156) - you deserved it (11871)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46568) - you deserved it (3850)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (27305)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

#16722339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (14351)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by sucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (41422)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14011) - you deserved it (32567)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (39120)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (27808)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (8364)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16654) - you deserved it (77088)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

#16307773
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (7710)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (32940)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

#16291587
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41897) - you deserved it (5613)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55525) - you deserved it (12908)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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