mrjake155

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mrjake155

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  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mrjake155's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

by Username / 06/20/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

by iDisable / 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

by sucks4me / 06/18/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

by tomuchtime / 06/02/2011 at 4:46am / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

by Miramichi / 05/30/2011 at 8:18am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

by sleepy / 05/23/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

by why me / 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm / Geek

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

by severedface / 05/22/2011 at 1:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy