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  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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mrirish1995's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:34pm

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mrirish1995's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

by overexcited / 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Health