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Mobility
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Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11767) - you deserved it (46233)
On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (4187)
On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (4170)
On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States
Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58888) - you deserved it (4914)
On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60035) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (7419)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9525) - you deserved it (33488)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (5529)
On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9953) - you deserved it (25816)
On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (2231)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (3168)
On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13484) - you deserved it (58276)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61923) - you deserved it (4545)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52502) - you deserved it (6453)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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