mrdiesel918

Search for a member

mrdiesel918

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mrdiesel918 : i hate ppl who r 2 faced

mrdiesel918's page activity

Visits<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:10pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:36am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:39pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:18pm<b>AutumnMasquerade</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:19pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Nmc23</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:40am<b>dangerika93</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 10:47pm

mrdiesel918's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mrdiesel918's badges

mrdiesel918's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

by me / 08/07/2011 at 3:22am / United States / Holidays

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

by ouch / 08/07/2011 at 3:12am / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

by Pinkie / 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

by Tabby / 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

by Username / 08/06/2011 at 3:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

by ashlyn / 08/06/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

by meach / 08/06/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

by jhftrainer23 / 08/05/2011 at 10:42am / United States (Iowa) / Work