mrdiesel918

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mrdiesel918

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3074
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mrdiesel918 : i hate ppl who r 2 faced

mrdiesel918's page activity

Visits<b>euphoricness</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:10pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:36am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:39pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:18pm<b>AutumnMasquerade</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:19pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Nmc23</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:40am<b>dangerika93</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 10:47pm

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mrdiesel918's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML

by ouch / 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

by LuckySperm / 08/12/2011 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

by viperplay53 / 08/12/2011 at 1:26am / United States / Work

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

by Matt / 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

by Username / 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm / United States / Work

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

by brittgreen / 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

by brittgreen / 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

by Michael tee / 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy