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mrcooper1987

Offline (the 09/02/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member

mrcooper1987

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1102
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mrcooper1987's page activity

Visits<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:21am

mrcooper1987's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of mrcooper1987's badges

mrcooper1987's favorite FMLs

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59994) - you deserved it (5021)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (4322)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57800) - you deserved it (3348)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65706) - you deserved it (5298)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46162) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63414) - you deserved it (6381)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50410) - you deserved it (3579)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77209) - you deserved it (6509)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73612) - you deserved it (5458)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65361) - you deserved it (12808)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54919) - you deserved it (8975)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70143) - you deserved it (10306)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66439) - you deserved it (14667)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63552) - you deserved it (9608)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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