About mrbobmarley4 : No kitty that's my pot pie
But no seriously message me sometime I get frequently bored. But I tend to quote from South Park and other movies..
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Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (11035)
On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (2006)
On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (5103)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (20886)
On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (5759)
On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (3485)
On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8312) - you deserved it (56493)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (1818)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by peter (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (7946)
On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (100991)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (100991)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (38788)
On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65083) - you deserved it (134780)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32982) - you deserved it (114507)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63149) - you deserved it (8248)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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