mr_plow

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mr_plow

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mr_plow's FML badges

Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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mr_plow's favorite FMLs

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

by xattackattackx / 11/18/2011 at 4:01am / United States (Hawaii) / Health

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

by Damnit / 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

by ray / 11/17/2011 at 6:22am / United States / Health

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

by dunicha / 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

by jdancerchick / 11/16/2011 at 8:47am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

by halloweed / 11/16/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous