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mr_joeyy

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 8:16pm) | Search for a member

mr_joeyy

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  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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mr_joeyy's FML badges

50 favourites

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

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mr_joeyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (5386)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38193) - you deserved it (4315)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (5292)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51507) - you deserved it (5897)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

#20995564
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (4694)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by not-religious (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46593) - you deserved it (5132)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (2862)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (3091)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (7292)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (11035)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)



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