About mpj13 : Wanna see me run to that rock and back?
Wanna see me do it again?
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Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (3232)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (4553)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (4553)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (9103)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (6124)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (2190)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (2262)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (27242)
On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (2941)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (4356)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (1429)
On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18485) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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