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mpj13

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mpj13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1813
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About mpj13 : Wanna see me run to that rock and back?
Wanna see me do it again?

mpj13's page activity

Visits<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - 4 hours ago<b>justaguynl</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:38pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:18pm<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Alxndr19</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:44pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:02am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:47pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:08pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:48pm<b>PrincessBambii</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:26pm<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:08am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 1:37am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:03am<b>onmycrucifix</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 7:59am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 5:49am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 4:20pm<b>DutchRogue</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 11:42am

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mpj13's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (4969)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44846) - you deserved it (5563)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55303) - you deserved it (7289)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47116) - you deserved it (3764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72884) - you deserved it (7211)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61648) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37746) - you deserved it (5105)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65667) - you deserved it (12619)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (6765)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57307) - you deserved it (10856)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (4013)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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