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mowmowlife

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mowmowlife

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 280
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mowmowlife : I'm just your regular old Philosoraptor questioning what kids are for, since they clearly aren't for tracks

mowmowlife's page activity

Visits<b>imcool456</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:37am<b>oops993</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:13pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:37pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:00pm<b>CharismaGeek</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:29pm<b>J1728</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Opinion_</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 9:33am<b>silon5</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:47am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 10:54am<b>Maryakewl</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:01pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:21pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:41pm<b>mel_tran_</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:33pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:19pm

mowmowlife's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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mowmowlife's favorite FMLs

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (129155)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346314) - you deserved it (38545)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

#758026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77536) - you deserved it (5167)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (172211) - you deserved it (30279)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82012) - you deserved it (15009)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (84788)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473274) - you deserved it (45768)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232708) - you deserved it (30950)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (66284)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it stuck mid-floor. Being supportive, I went to hug her and tell her we'll be OK. Today I also learned that my girlfriend is deathly claustrophobic and her predominant reaction is to vomit. In this case, all over me. We were stuck for 2 hours. FML

#132840
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49781) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by goingup? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (46292)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (8295)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (5641)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version



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