mowmowlife

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mowmowlife

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2672
  • Number of comments : 280
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mowmowlife : I'm just your regular old Philosoraptor questioning what kids are for, since they clearly aren't for tracks

mowmowlife's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:00am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 10:35pm<b>butimnew</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 11:21am<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:58am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:22pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:55am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:53pm<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:00pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:15pm<b>daemonsparta</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:07pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:15am<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:18am<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:41am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:25pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>popsvb01</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:24pm

Fucked!<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:58pm

mowmowlife's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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mowmowlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

by Username / 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king sized bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

by Fml24609 / 08/20/2010 at 2:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

by Floof / 02/15/2010 at 8:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML

by countrygirl0118 / 12/17/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

by Danners88 / 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

by booste / 10/18/2009 at 12:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

by Notthemaid / 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

by veggocake / 09/26/2009 at 4:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous