mowmowlife

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mowmowlife

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2730
  • Number of comments : 280
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mowmowlife : I'm just your regular old Philosoraptor questioning what kids are for, since they clearly aren't for tracks

mowmowlife's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:00am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 10:35pm<b>butimnew</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 11:21am<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:58am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:22pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:55am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:53pm<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:00pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:15pm<b>daemonsparta</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:07pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:15am<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:18am<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:41am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:25pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>popsvb01</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:24pm

Fucked!<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:58pm

mowmowlife's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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mowmowlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

by Mouse / 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm / Kids

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

by bellerz14 / 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous