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mowmowlife

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mowmowlife

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1448
  • Number of comments : 280
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mowmowlife : I'm just your regular old Philosoraptor questioning what kids are for, since they clearly aren't for tracks

mowmowlife's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:10am<b>imcool456</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:37am<b>oops993</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:13pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:37pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:00pm<b>CharismaGeek</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:29pm<b>J1728</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Opinion_</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 9:33am<b>silon5</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:47am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:38pm<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 10:54am<b>Maryakewl</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:01pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:21pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:41pm<b>mel_tran_</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:33pm

mowmowlife's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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mowmowlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (3201)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45262) - you deserved it (2841)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (5770)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9876) - you deserved it (28409)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13308) - you deserved it (31491)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (1915)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2020)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5395) - you deserved it (47513)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8925) - you deserved it (33623)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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