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motherpuncher

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motherpuncher

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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motherpuncher's page activity

Visits<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 9:29am<b>bspiper87</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 5:37am

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motherpuncher's favorite FMLs

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16750) - you deserved it (2385)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (31141)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (1303)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1941)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (1629)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (7523)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (3883)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (4321)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (8571)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (10854) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

#20031031
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (5865)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (6357)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (4879)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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