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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mother_green7

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mother_green7
  • Town/Country : Oakland, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 35495
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mother_green7 :
laughing at others misfortunes is the best medicine

& i'm the blonde on the left

mother_green7's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mother_green7's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81760) - you deserved it (24061)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (8604) - you deserved it (42481)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108 (458)

I agree, your life sucks (52357) - you deserved it (8698)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (26435) - you deserved it (38479)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (88934) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (51234) - you deserved it (4539)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55736) - you deserved it (136043)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (55204) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (5246)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (37710)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (36905)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (48325)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (55238) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97760)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120452) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)