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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mosarmini

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mosarmini
  • Town/Country : Gretna, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 November 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1164
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About mosarmini : I'm an all out rocker =D

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mosarmini's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (5729)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (14376) - you deserved it (3671)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 12 times. FML

#6426419 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (2855) - you deserved it (24400)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (5015) - you deserved it (21943)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (9233) - you deserved it (24019)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (19346)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (8242) - you deserved it (23094)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (23303)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

#6300869 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (1686)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33650)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)