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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50240) - you deserved it (19853)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (34426)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (40335)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (5774)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (53653)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12580) - you deserved it (51113)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (99814)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (31898)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (51387)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (49005)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (6158)
On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75592) - you deserved it (3255)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65651) - you deserved it (2433)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49300) - you deserved it (3740)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:38pm - health - by busybee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (59931)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)
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