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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML
YESTERDAY, I WAS FEELING ADVENTUROUS AN DECIDED TO FREEBALL IT TO SCHOOL!! AS I WENT TO SIT DOWN DURING FIRST CLASS, I MANAGED TO SIT ON MAH OWN BALLS, SCREAM, THEN COLLAPSE ON THE FLOOR GASPING!! MY TEACHER THOUGHT I WAS SCREWING AROUND AN GAVE ME DETENTION!! FML
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, ( I didn't know how else to kill it! ) She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, putted it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. real FML
Today.. . after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping.. . I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit . After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass.. . I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again . FML
Today, I finally talked mah boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I cummed an instinctively gripped his head with mah thighs. He panicked an we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML
Friday 27 March 2015