morgan020

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morgan020

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4995
  • Number of comments : 278
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About morgan020 : I live in the country in Texas. I hunt, fish, and go mudding. I have the most awesome kid ever, not that I'm biased or anything though. I drive a Prius. It's actually pretty cool. My husbands jeep is the exact opposite of my car. Huge, loud, and green only if you count the color. My husband is the most awesome man I've ever met. I'm incredibly lucky to have married my high school sweet heart. My son is a well behaved, active, child, that loves to get dirty and be outside. My husband says I have a weird sense of humor but I disagree. But maybe that's why I like FML. :)

morgan020's page activity

Visits<b>Sj1147</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 1:22am<b>_aPerson_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:11pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 2:55pm<b>Misicgal666</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:52pm<b>jesswoo</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:25pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:37pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:50pm<b>PhinIt2WinIt</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:42am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:59am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:11am<b>tsammii</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:42pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:20pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:52am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:43pm<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:27pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:19pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:53pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:28am

morgan020's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

morgan020's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

by heather / 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada / Love

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

by ksgirl / 09/12/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 3:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I got 4 "photo enforced" speeding tickets in the mail. It was from the car that was stolen from me three weeks ago. FML

by SlowLane / 09/11/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML

by howrude / 09/11/2009 at 7:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

by tawnaciousd / 09/10/2009 at 2:35am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous