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morethanthis's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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morethanthis's favorite FMLs
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by someone / 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals
by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
by wetqueefa / 02/03/2013 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…