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morethanthis's FML badges
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morethanthis's favorite FMLs
Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML
by AnnoyedSister / 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by someone / 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals
by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
by wetqueefa / 02/03/2013 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…