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mordecaiandrigby

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mordecaiandrigby
  • Town/Country : Somewhere on Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1148
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.

mordecaiandrigby's last visitors

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mordecaiandrigby's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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mordecaiandrigby's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (8515)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

#10823884
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8231) - you deserved it (25594)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

#10699156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (2813)

On 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm - misc - by *sigh* - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

#9327043
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (3631)

On 03/23/2010 at 10:51am - intimacy - by BadtoWorse (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12960) - you deserved it (31571)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (14995)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

#8838699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (4652)

On 03/05/2010 at 1:10am - kids - by icarlymom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at work using a wood finishing product that we apply by hand. After 2 straight days of using it I finally read the label. It said "This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer". Good thing nobody told me. FML

#8794429
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (9630)

On 03/03/2010 at 5:49am - work - by painter - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (2390)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (3084)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)



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