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morbidsikness

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morbidsikness

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  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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morbidsikness's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12969) - you deserved it (24676)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (1649)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (8278)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (1544)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (52637)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

#20057019
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (51258)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

#20056910
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18445) - you deserved it (3811)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (23367)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (1593)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5463) - you deserved it (28156)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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