moonzombie

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Offline (the 10/15/2015 at 8:09pm)

moonzombie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 May 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1550
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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moonzombie's page activity

Visits<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:59pm<b>emddy</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 5:43am<b>dbpdp</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:13pm<b>hockeyplayar</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:46am<b>Kinto</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:00pm<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:43am<b>ELITEKILLER529</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:04pm<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:57am<b>fezhafeez</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:13am<b>Adolf_Hipster13</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:27pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:40pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:06pm<b>BrownLyons</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:30pm<b>badbreakup</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:39pm<b>CharlesEmersonW</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:42am<b>umerin</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:25am<b>kwgang</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:01am

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:57pm

moonzombie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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The rules are the rules

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moonzombie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

by dontgothere / 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids