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moonski

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  • Number of visits : 340
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moonski's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18361) - you deserved it (2384)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22433) - you deserved it (2466)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (3301)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (5553)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38287) - you deserved it (2375)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

#18182006
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (4508)

On 11/07/2011 at 4:38am - misc - by Isoldael - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52861) - you deserved it (2664)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73914) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

#16268137
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13455) - you deserved it (39464)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:38pm - work - by rioght onnn - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (52709)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (2330)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (3817)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52890) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

#12619171
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (12306)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15775) - you deserved it (245390)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)



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