moonsalt

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Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 4:53am)

moonsalt

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About moonsalt : Writer. Student. Experienced musician. Friendly bacon scholar. Hardcore internet geek. Zombie specialist. Unable to type with boxing gloves on.

moonsalt's page activity

Visits<b>ikeb</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 10:05pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:52am<b>muarif</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:18am<b>NoHaxJustPandas</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:02am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:13pm<b>StarkWolf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:40am<b>xraye</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:30am<b>sweetie808</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:27am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:38am<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:52pm<b>vet1</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:16pm<b>bigmusclebro</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:30pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:16am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Maximusmime</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:22pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 11:47am<b>nachomanwon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:29am<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:53am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:15pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:03am<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:34pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 11:08pm

moonsalt's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of moonsalt's badges

moonsalt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

by guess I'm stuck / 04/16/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

by human lava lamp / 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML

by AliRocks / 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

by rainey / 02/03/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous