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Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7581) - you totally deserved it (1075)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you totally deserved it (7033)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you totally deserved it (5595)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9831) - you totally deserved it (3482)
On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you totally deserved it (8841)
On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you totally deserved it (1511)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9982) - you totally deserved it (2238) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10413) - you totally deserved it (2089)
On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, i walked into the bathroom and saw my beautiful girlfriend of 9 months shaving her face. Seeing my shocking reflection she says "Honey, we need to talk". She proceeds to tell me that she was born a man and had a full sex change the year before she met me. Yes, we've had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you totally deserved it (2678)
On 09/29/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you totally deserved it (568)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you totally deserved it (3456)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from a mobile version
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9657) - you totally deserved it (828)
On 09/08/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you totally deserved it (2045)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38743) - you totally deserved it (6258)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you totally deserved it (3378)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
