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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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moonfire

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moonfire
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13542
  • Number of comments : 365
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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moonfire's favorite FMLs

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (2340)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (26507)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (11292) - you deserved it (1749)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML

#15262528 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (6716)

On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (5291)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5693) - you deserved it (64189)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

#15232480 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (520) - you deserved it (21858)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (5098)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (1883)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (7783)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (4573) - you deserved it (38754)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (17052)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (2199)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -