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montanab

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montanab

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 232
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About montanab : No, I do not have kik.
Yes, I have snapchat... But you must be nice.
Instagram username is ' montanabbb ' (very original, I know) :-)

montanab's page activity

Visits<b>A07</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:53am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:13am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:01pm<b>_arianamatul_</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:28pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:14am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:41am<b>WickedBooger</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:53pm<b>NicH1799</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:21am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:52am<b>shainj78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:17pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:49pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:09am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:28am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:31pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:41am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:32am<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:22pm

montanab's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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montanab's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (13645)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39632) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (4759)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52337) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49672) - you deserved it (9937)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47844) - you deserved it (5914)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63993) - you deserved it (5056)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (5068)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43555) - you deserved it (14222) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (21576)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (45490)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States



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