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montanab

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

montanab

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About montanab : No, I do not have kik.
Yes, I have snapchat... But you must be nice.
Instagram username is ' montanabbb ' (very original, I know) :-)

montanab's page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:11pm<b>WickedBooger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:46am<b>sydspears3</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:11am<b>A07</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:53am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:13am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:01pm<b>_arianamatul_</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:28pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:14am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:41am<b>NicH1799</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:21am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:52am<b>shainj78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:17pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:49pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:09am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:28am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:49pm

montanab's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of montanab's badges

montanab's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (14170)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (3512)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (5817)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (13734)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39711) - you deserved it (4850)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (4152)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (4848)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49752) - you deserved it (9950)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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