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monstermatt001

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monstermatt001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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monstermatt001's page activity

Visits<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:57am<b>Lesser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:46am<b>dulchi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jbdemon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:36pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>jessybell</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:29pm

monstermatt001's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of monstermatt001's badges

monstermatt001's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (13704)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35299) - you deserved it (4998)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (5985)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (7811)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (9918)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53104) - you deserved it (7423)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (3175)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (8452)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43381) - you deserved it (5220)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML

#2905430
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51917) - you deserved it (3498)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:45am - misc - by ZAS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (408738) - you deserved it (66930)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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