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monstermatt001

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monstermatt001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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monstermatt001's page activity

Visits<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:29pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:03am<b>randompizzaguy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:30pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:27pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:57am<b>Lesser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:46am<b>dulchi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jbdemon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:36pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>jessybell</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:29pm

monstermatt001's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of monstermatt001's badges

monstermatt001's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (4650)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (2558)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (4953)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I paid someone $30 to give me a hickey so I could prove I had a social life. FML

#21335329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19268) - you deserved it (21207)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by thirsty af - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (9881)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38931) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)



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