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monstermatt001

Offline (the 05/06/2015 at 7:44pm) | Search for a member

monstermatt001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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monstermatt001's page activity

Visits<b>FancyKnightMan</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:25pm<b>feetlvr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:03am<b>randompizzaguy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:30pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:27pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:57am<b>Lesser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:46am<b>dulchi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jbdemon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:36pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>jessybell</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:29pm

monstermatt001's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of monstermatt001's badges

monstermatt001's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (2562)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (2372)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (2627)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (16962)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (17275)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (2870)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17331) - you deserved it (32380)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (1924)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (17350)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (42440)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (2218)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)



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