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monstermatt001

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monstermatt001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 313
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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monstermatt001's page activity

Visits<b>feetlvr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:03am<b>randompizzaguy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:30pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:27pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:57am<b>Lesser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:46am<b>dulchi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jbdemon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:36pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>jessybell</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:29pm

monstermatt001's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of monstermatt001's badges

monstermatt001's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (10398)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (5753)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (35253)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (33715)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (7081)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (2189)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (6703)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30929) - you deserved it (2425)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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