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monstermatt001

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 2:22pm) | Search for a member

monstermatt001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 351
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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monstermatt001's page activity

Visits<b>FancyKnightMan</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:25pm<b>feetlvr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:03am<b>randompizzaguy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:30pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:27pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:57am<b>Lesser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:46am<b>dulchi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jbdemon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:36pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>jessybell</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:29pm

monstermatt001's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of monstermatt001's badges

monstermatt001's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29059) - you deserved it (2)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (2052)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (2465)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31777) - you deserved it (4588)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (4964)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24) - you deserved it (9546)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13) - you deserved it (8)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad spent 30 minutes incorrectly correcting me about our legal system. He thinks he knows more than me because he's been divorced twice. I'm a lawyer. FML

#21376903
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22) - you deserved it (4)

On 03/18/2015 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (4196)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (15233)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
104 comments

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

#21376174
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (9)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by ilovecharliesheen (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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