Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

monsterblonde

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

monsterblonde

6Fucked!

monsterblondemonsterblonde
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monsterblonde : Just a happy girl who loves writing and various other things like video games and laughing. I live in a very cloudy town, but I think I appreciate the sun more than others. :) Have an amazing day.

monsterblonde's page activity

Visits<b>LittleRich</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:42am<b>Patriots21</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:22pm<b>TmaxxRuler</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:14pm<b>toaster87</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:51pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:42pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:41pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:27pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:23am<b>JMichael</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:13pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Yarecho</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:15pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:57pm<b>FreshToDeathEf</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:28pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:44pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:38am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:15am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:28am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 8:19pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 10:18am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:24am

monsterblonde's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of monsterblonde's badges

monsterblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2424)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (2158)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (5100)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (2173)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45322) - you deserved it (4755)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (29175)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47924) - you deserved it (5390)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44733) - you deserved it (4630)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (4268)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
106 comments

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (9600)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68131) - you deserved it (5355)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: