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monsterbeats

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 11:36pm) | Search for a member

monsterbeats

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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monsterbeats's page activity

Visits<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:39pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:30pm<b>746278Ab</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:47pm<b>NorwegianCommy</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:03am<b>whyisitme12</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:46pm<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:16pm<b>Zack6849</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:04am<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:11pm<b>maryiah</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:56am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:03pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:49pm

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monsterbeats's favorite FMLs

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you deserved it (56165)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

#16041715
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15349) - you deserved it (34255)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (2610)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11480) - you deserved it (48316)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (31277)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45260) - you deserved it (9570)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (6531)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (64746)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (10289)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (20887)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (4777)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (30360)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (22430)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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