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monsterbeats

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 5:16am) | Search for a member

monsterbeats

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 818
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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monsterbeats's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:39pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:30pm<b>746278Ab</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:47pm<b>NorwegianCommy</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:03am<b>whyisitme12</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:46pm<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:16pm<b>Zack6849</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:04am<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:11pm<b>maryiah</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:56am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:03pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:49pm

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monsterbeats's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (63803)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (6585)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9181) - you deserved it (28535)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26045) - you deserved it (3321)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (6915)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (5163)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42334) - you deserved it (9163)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

#18915455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13244) - you deserved it (28412)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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