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monsterbeats

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 11:36pm) | Search for a member

monsterbeats

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 597
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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monsterbeats's page activity

Visits<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:39pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:30pm<b>746278Ab</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:47pm<b>NorwegianCommy</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:03am<b>whyisitme12</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:46pm<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:16pm<b>Zack6849</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:20pm<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:04am<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:11pm<b>maryiah</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:56am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:03pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:49pm

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monsterbeats's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9118) - you deserved it (28339)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (5015)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (9131)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (4260)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

#18915455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13131) - you deserved it (28276)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (2927)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

#18721209
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States



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