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monsterbeats's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by baconandkittens / 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
by eldar90 / 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm / Israel / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
by wobble... / 02/23/2012 at 6:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by nothowtheydoitinalabama / 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
by BOOP / 02/17/2012 at 8:25am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, my cousin was using my iPad. He "accidentally dropped" it out the window 3 stories up. It's… Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she…