monkeyy100

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Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 11:08pm)

monkeyy100

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4437
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:24am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:12am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:14am<b>desijatt</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:08pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:51pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:12pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sarahpavloff</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:16pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:29pm<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:38am<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:04am<b>msamake</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:14am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:45am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:41pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:32pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:30am

Fucked!<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:41am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:32am

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

by ChangoFett / 05/26/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

by seriously / 05/24/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Animals

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

by paper towel virgin / 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm / Romania (Buzau) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

by violatedbuttcrack / 05/16/2013 at 6:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids