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monkeyy100

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monkeyy100

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1863
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:17am<b>Bigmommo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:24pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>_Minato</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:16pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:15am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:12am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:52am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:12pm

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (35930)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41009) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (39384)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47826) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59078) - you deserved it (5789)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50489) - you deserved it (4879)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55967) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (9090)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51122) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67217) - you deserved it (9916)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62903) - you deserved it (13804)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60488) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60598) - you deserved it (20242)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (9155)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)



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