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monkeyy100

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monkeyy100

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1712
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53348) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (65519)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47766) - you deserved it (4013)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62318) - you deserved it (4985)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45347) - you deserved it (7288)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (13476)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50699) - you deserved it (23549)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43525) - you deserved it (7431)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17992) - you deserved it (45797)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45667) - you deserved it (8360)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (8926)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (4136)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (35897)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (3006)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (39365)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States



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