About monkeyy100 : I love monkies
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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (13418)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41030) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (22083)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7580) - you deserved it (33708)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (2813)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (6519)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (1914)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (5908)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (7740)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (39992)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11893) - you deserved it (23215)
On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (27438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (9031)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (3497)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (16797)
On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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