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monkeyy100

Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 11:08pm) | Search for a member

monkeyy100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2030
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:35pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:17am<b>Bigmommo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:24pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>_Minato</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:16pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:15am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:12am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:52am

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55820) - you deserved it (23249)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49547) - you deserved it (10684)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54260) - you deserved it (6165)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (17812)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49781) - you deserved it (8436)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60078) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47377) - you deserved it (7988)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52250) - you deserved it (21124)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58847) - you deserved it (10851)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48275) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79458) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53542) - you deserved it (7871)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)



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