About monkeyy100 : I love monkies
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Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (1208)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7353) - you deserved it (14422)
On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3436)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11024) - you deserved it (17765)
On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18623) - you deserved it (3490)
On 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (2842)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (13396)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (40957) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (18157)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7566) - you deserved it (33611)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2809)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (6512)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36130) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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