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monkeyy100

Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member

monkeyy100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1770
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:15am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:12am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:23am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>_Minato</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:20pm<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:52am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:12pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:20am<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:49pm<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:29am

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45041) - you deserved it (4696)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (6372)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45592) - you deserved it (8364)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (11354)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54930) - you deserved it (27602)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55725) - you deserved it (23215)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49497) - you deserved it (10676)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54194) - you deserved it (6162)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36978) - you deserved it (17797)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (8430)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59667) - you deserved it (7581)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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