monkeyy100

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Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 11:08pm)

monkeyy100

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4692
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 5:03am<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:33pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:24am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:12am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:14am<b>desijatt</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:08pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:51pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:12pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sarahpavloff</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:16pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:29pm<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:38am<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:04am<b>msamake</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:14am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:45am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:41pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 11:03am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:14pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:41am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:32am

monkeyy100's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

by Pop / 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

by abc123 / 12/16/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

by monsterdanceman / 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous