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monkeyy100

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monkeyy100

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1724
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (7358)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (9387)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (8633)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (9547)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50487) - you deserved it (9270)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38347) - you deserved it (5198)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (47639)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (7133)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53832) - you deserved it (6642)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49758) - you deserved it (6234)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (56045)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45602) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53318) - you deserved it (32392)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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