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monkeyy100

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 9:09am) | Search for a member

monkeyy100

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1910
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:17am<b>Bigmommo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:24pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>_Minato</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:16pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:15am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:12am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:52am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:12pm

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monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41577) - you deserved it (6655)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52037) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (25106)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (5412)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43497) - you deserved it (6504)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (7363)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43322) - you deserved it (9394)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45934) - you deserved it (8636)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47987) - you deserved it (9553)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (3935)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50623) - you deserved it (9280)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (5202)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (47671)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (7135)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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