Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

monkeyy100

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

monkeyy100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2005
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:35pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:17am<b>Bigmommo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:24pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>_Minato</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 8:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:16pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:15am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:12am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:55am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:42pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:52am

monkeyy100's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of monkeyy100's badges

monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

#13103525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (8213)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (28382)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (12790)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (12345)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (2307)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (3425)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (3730)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

#5243719
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20672) - you deserved it (5234)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59239) - you deserved it (15273)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11951) - you deserved it (35920)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56530) - you deserved it (4700)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (6330)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: