Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

monkeyy100

Online | Search for a member

monkeyy100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1568
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>jgwyh</b> - yesterday at 1:12pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:20am<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:49pm<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:29am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:43pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:19pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:35am<b>macorncob</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:41pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:19am<b>kagomelove1969</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:59pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:54am<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:01pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:43pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:52pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:51pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:24pm<b>skygage</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:38pm

monkeyy100's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of monkeyy100's badges

monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14498) - you deserved it (26558)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (36213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (11915)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9316) - you deserved it (23942)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112386) - you deserved it (15232)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (81447)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33823) - you deserved it (6078)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (15144)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58025) - you deserved it (10576)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58025) - you deserved it (10576)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (10640)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (12437)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (12437)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (37085)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: