Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

monkeyy100

Offline (12 minutes ago) | Search for a member

monkeyy100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1566
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyy100 : ♡

monkeyy100's page activity

Visits<b>jgwyh</b> - yesterday at 1:12pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:20am<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:49pm<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:29am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:43pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:19pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:35am<b>macorncob</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:41pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:19am<b>kagomelove1969</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:59pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:54am<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:01pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:43pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:52pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:51pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:24pm<b>skygage</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:38pm

monkeyy100's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of monkeyy100's badges

monkeyy100's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (6001)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (7541)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (2140)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13029) - you deserved it (31483)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (9013)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (3489)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (8712)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6332) - you deserved it (20080)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: