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Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (1786)
On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (3075)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (4696)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53913) - you deserved it (6264)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (2493)
On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (1957)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (2071)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2026)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11944) - you deserved it (38242)
On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (2621)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (5759)
On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (5491)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2082)
On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2566)
On 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm - misc - by samgonzalessb - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (5831)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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