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monkeyforehead

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monkeyforehead

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1041
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyforehead : My testicles are sour.

monkeyforehead's page activity

Visits<b>jordanharris23</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Sebastian2022</b> - 8 hours ago<b>NotANative</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:15pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:12am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:13am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:00am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:55am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:09pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:58am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:04am<b>Eater209</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:07am<b>loooloool</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Just1Ash</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:19am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:11pm<b>julako</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:18pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:53pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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monkeyforehead's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8086) - you deserved it (47872)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

#13479988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (6140)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (44723)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14633) - you deserved it (54729)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9697) - you deserved it (31728)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (10058)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (4714)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (32955)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (64481)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50099) - you deserved it (7902)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (3982)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (2841)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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