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Offline (the 09/29/2015 at 7:04am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyforehead : My testicles are sour.

monkeyforehead's page activity

Visits<b>jaala123</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:54am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:23pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:24pm<b>RA91</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:48am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:02am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:16pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:00pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 6:26pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:41am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:16pm<b>vesquivel62</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:54pm<b>jordanharris23</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:16am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>NotANative</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:15pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:12am

Fucked!<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:53am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:16am

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I like your style

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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monkeyforehead's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (7718)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15985) - you deserved it (61347)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (6358)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35310) - you deserved it (2612)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (8443)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (3851)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML


I agree, your life sucks (18987) - you deserved it (1964)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (8000)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (3097)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (4917)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (9585)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39057) - you deserved it (11350) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

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