monkeybutts101

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monkeybutts101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3677
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeybutts101 : I'm bi. Im taken by my gf. Feel free to message me. Only girls can kik me:tianna_143rocks

monkeybutts101's page activity

Visits<b>carleybeak</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 4:02pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:56am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 8:57am<b>FimogenFeels</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:22am<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:48am<b>EncryptedDynasty</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 3:41am<b>Issy_Marie</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:55am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:04am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:18pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:55pm<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 3:00pm<b>aam40</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 2:41am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 4:06pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:05am<b>Anumayis</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 5:27am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:20am<b>terryaly</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:16pm

monkeybutts101's FML badges

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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monkeybutts101's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

by TeddyBearKiller / 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

by _/ | \_ / 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML

by Angrily Paranoid / 10/06/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

by inhaler -.- / 10/06/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids