monkeybanana

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monkeybanana

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2178
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About monkeybanana : Hiiii :)

monkeybanana's page activity

Visits<b>flipb11</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:39am<b>sydnvy</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:36pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:51pm<b>blinked_281</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:45am<b>nrubs11</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Coltonomore</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:32am<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:23pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:50pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:02am<b>edgeofstorms</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:47pm<b>ThenamesEevee</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:53pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:46pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 2:29am<b>sanghera43</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:10am

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monkeybanana's favorite FMLs

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

by Crazy09 / 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

by gotmon3y / 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

by bezoar10 / 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

by tacky_unrefined / 02/16/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

by atterz123 / 02/12/2009 at 8:37am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

by Casper / 02/11/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous