monkeybanana

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monkeybanana

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2170
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About monkeybanana : Hiiii :)

monkeybanana's page activity

Visits<b>flipb11</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:39am<b>sydnvy</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:36pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:51pm<b>blinked_281</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:45am<b>nrubs11</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Coltonomore</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:32am<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:23pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:50pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:02am<b>edgeofstorms</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:47pm<b>ThenamesEevee</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:53pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:46pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 2:29am<b>sanghera43</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:48am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:10am

monkeybanana's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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monkeybanana's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

by Missyangel / 12/31/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

by Dontworryaboutit / 12/28/2009 at 5:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

by hairdresser / 10/18/2009 at 11:27am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Kids

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

by cramps / 09/17/2009 at 9:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

by NotCuteEnough / 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

by Ricky / 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

by HouseMdFangirl / 08/10/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 7:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

by shouldhaveknown / 06/26/2009 at 10:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love