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monkeybanana

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1352
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About monkeybanana : Hiiii :)

monkeybanana's page activity

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monkeybanana's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (2481)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (33924)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (4041)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (14703)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44104) - you deserved it (4450)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (3978)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (4633)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

#10546987
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41555) - you deserved it (3450)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm - love - by schwange (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (35616)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (8138)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (12954)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (32471)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (5707)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)



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