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monkeybanana's favorite FMLs
by nonexistant / 10/29/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 2:36am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
by sister_woes / 10/09/2010 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by gutsforme / 08/11/2010 at 6:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by schwange / 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm / United States (New York) / Love
by choldcreations / 03/07/2010 at 9:12am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 1:58am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML
by Desperate_measures / 01/16/2010 at 7:22am / Greece (Attiki) / Love
by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming / 01/03/2010 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…